Shit That Gets On My Tits On Facebook – Part 2

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You may have seen part one of my gripes the other day, if not please do familiarise yourself with it.

Here is part two and it is one that is close to my heart:

Saving dying people with likes and hearts. Come ON people you know better than that.

I’m talking about the photo of someone in intensive care or a puppy with three legs with the line, ‘1 like = 1 prayer. If you scroll past you are a heartless twat’ or something along those lines.

First of all, I don’t believe in God, not in any way shape or form.

My virtual prayers aren’t helping anyone in this situation. In fact I am probably one of the last people God is going to listen to.

Secondly, I’m not sure what the broadband situation is like past the Pearly Gates – it’s a bit iffy at the end of my road to be honest.

I’m not convinced that God is up on the whole ‘Facebook’ thing. If he is he’s probably too busy Googling himself or looking up Jesus on Wikipedia. ‘Mary Magdalen? Nice one, Son’

Thirdly, assuming God does have Facebook up there, which let’s be honest is highly unlikely, even he is probably not monitoring every spammy photo of a half dead person, least of all the ‘likes and hearts.

I expect he’s pretty busy what with all the wars and famine and other shit going down.

Finally let’s just assume for a minute that the broadband is fab in Heaven, that in fact he has fibre – let’s face it he created it. That God does indeed have a Facebook account (he is omnipotent after all) and all the time in the world – yup he created that too.

Do we honestly think that he’s going to look at one of those photos and say, ‘Hmmm, 1,243 likes I think I’ll save them… haaaang on a minute! Roger Phillips didn’t click ‘like,’ fuck ‘em. Time to turn off the life support?’

Of course he doesn’t.

These photos are purely click bait, usually attached to some whatever-phobic hate group to spread their bile.

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Moreover, the photos have usually been pinched from some poor grieving family without permission.

Live dangerously, don’t click on them, scroll past. Be a twat, like me.

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