A little bit of snow and everyone loses their fucking minds

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OK so in case you don’t own windows, the Beast from the East is here.

It’s snowing, and bloody hell, it is seriously affecting people’s brains.

All over Facebook mummy forums, which are usually reserved for naming and shaming men who looked at them funny that once at the garage, passing on fake news in outrage and sharing hilarious memes about how much mums need to drink to get through, there are now a plethora of moronic snow-related questions…

‘Wots the weather guna be like 2mora?’

I don’t know Clare, do I look like Michael fucking Fish?

However, let me draw your attention to that little handy app just there on your iPhone – the one right next to the Facebook one? Press your chubby little thumb on that, it’ll probably have a bloody good guess for you.

‘Ne one no if St Jezebel’s is closed 2day?’

Oooh I don’t know – try looking at that entire website dedicated to school closures? Just a thought Tracey. Just a thought.

So it emerges that in my local area, some schools have indeed closed because of the snow and some haven’t.

You can’t please people, and you definitely can’t please the mums of Facebook.

They are either outraged because the staff have struggled in and chosen to open the school (‘My poor kiddies! Their gonna freeze to deaf! It’s so unsafe! I want to stay in my PJs and watch Jeremy Kyle. If I don’t take them I bet they’ll fine us!!!’) or bitching because it’s closed (‘It’s just a bit of snow, and quite frankly I’m sick of these kids in my house all day eating everything and claiming they’re bored but not wanting to play outside because it’s too fucking cold’).

OK that last one was me.

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Anyway one thing I think we can all agree on; enough is e-fucking-nough.

Time for the sun to come out and things to get back to normal, please.

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